Once upon a Coachella in 2009, I lined my entire bra with joints to pass through security incognito. Whether or not security knew (or even cared), I’ll never know. But the experience—the thrill—of successfully sneaking booze/pot/drugs into a show is a classic rite of passage, and the beginning of a stashing skill set that most festival-goers will fine-tune from their teen years through their twenties, until they feel like a human Transformer equipped with the best smokes, space cakes, and nutcrackers.
The definitive MUNCHIES guide to sneaking alcohol into musical festivals suggests such DIY gems as injecting your grapes with wine and refilling empty fruit pouches with your beverage of choice, while Redditors suggest you “hide your booze in a baguette [and] hide your drugs in your food,” or wear Ziploc bags to hide your Henny. There are also some beautiful, elevated flasks out there that we’d love to add to our bar cart. But our goal in this instance (a.k.a. bringing a fifth of Mellow Corn into Medieval Times) isn’t to be swanky—it’s to be sneaky. That’s why we’ve made a short list of the best stash jars and drink concealers you can invest in for a summer of (hypothetical) public drinking and smoking, whether you’re about to hit the festival circuit or just want to sip on the beach in peace.
We’ve vetted the best, most creative stash containers that have great reviews (from actual people) on their convincing appearance, leak-proof quality, and ability to conceal odors. Bottoms up!
The ol’ floppy flask
Ah, the collapsible flask. Reddit elders recommend using these to stash your sippies under your clothes, your boots, and wherever else floats your boat past security. This set is Amazon’s best-selling version with a 4.7-star rating from 3,400 reviews. “We used them to bring on alcohol on our cruise and it worked!” writes one reviewer. “There were three couples and they provided enough for two full days.”
Ice, ice baby
Nothing’s more of a downer for your beach/park picnic than having the cops ticket you for your
public day drinking European joie de vivre. This handy little ice pack, however, can help you keep sipping on the down-low. “I went to the San Diego Jazz festival and topped off my secret flask with rum and placed it right in the ice chest,” one reviewer writes. “When security asked to look inside, there were no questions asked.”
Keep the SPF handy
Sunscreen knows no season, but we’d be lying if we said we didn’t make an extra effort to keep our SPF (sun protection fernet) on hand during the summer months. We suggest washing this clever purchase down with another: one of our favorite dermatologist-recommended sunscreens.
Hide this amongst other (actual) energy drinks
As cute as this A&W root beer stash jar is, we think this Monster energy drink will look the most convincing for going through security at your next outdoor concert or event. “This is weighted, to make it more realistic. It is the perfect size, looks realistic, and when you twist it closed it has a light seal on it to contain smell,” writes one fan.
Your new favorite deodorant
We’ve graduated into the world of fancy deodorants, but the security person doesn’t need to know that. All they need to know is that we’re doing ourselves—and fellow concert goers—a favor by taking our, ahem, Speed Sticks, with us to the show.
Make it rain
With a 4.7-star average rating from over 2,900 reviews on Amazon, this stealthy umbrella is one of the most inventive and effective flasks yet. “Did Q from 007 design this?” one reviewer writes. “[It] looks like an umbrella. I mean, really looks like an umbrella. [It also] comes with some bonus items like a pour spout and funnel, is BPA free, and did I mention let’s you take your booze wherever you like!”
The smallest stash jar yet
“This is just like a real bolt, nut, and washer. [It’s] very heavy [and[ would not look suspicious,” writes one Amazon reviewer of this 4.5-star rated bolt stash jar, which fits a handful of pills, or a modestly-sized family of Polly Pockets.
Putting on the ritz
When you’re blue and you don’t know where to go to, why don’t you go where your booze cane takes you?
“Used [successfully] for Disneyland and Medieval Times,” writes one reviewer of the best-selling faux tampon flasks, which can help you save money on those $30 theme park cocktails.
A refillable lighter and doob tube
It’s not always necessary to have a wildly clever stash jar to go über incognito. A hybrid lighter and joint-stasher is not only handy for consolidating your goods, but people tend to notice less of what’s right under their nose. If lighters are good to go at your venue, then this will likely pass the security check.
The perfect White Elephant gift. This necktie hides up to eight ounces of liquid, and won’t raise any eyebrows at the ska show.
It’s called fashion, sweety
As one reviewer said about this blingy bracelet flask, “You can fight and not spill your drink!!! While everyone grabbed their drinks and bottles to hit each other, I stood in a corner sipping Hennessy, all thanks to this bracelet.” Amen.
This stash jar is made from actual upcycled ChapSticks, so you’re going green in more ways than one. Amazon reviewers have also said that it’s smell-proof, secure, and a great gift for friends. “The bottom capsule [for opening] the hole [doesn’t] easily fall off in any situation,” writes one fan.
HAGS, and don’t forget to stay hydrated.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.